She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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