Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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