FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I want her autograph on my taint
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
