I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
