I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
