paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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