I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
