tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize