the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I am one with the molecules
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
