I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
