i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
