'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Quick, to the slutcave!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
