Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
