people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He better not be in your backpack
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
