Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize