You really coming over, don't trick.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Holy sore nipples Batman
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
