You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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