You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
