I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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