My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
