This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
