If i come over, it means nothing
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
