There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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