I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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