I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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