Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
