I met the friendliest cop last night
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
