just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
