You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
