mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize