dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
