I want to have your abortion
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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