At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
