Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
