That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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