Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
