Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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