Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
