Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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