I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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