Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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