where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Girls should come with a carfax report
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
