You really coming over, don't trick.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
