dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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