I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
