so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
