Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
