I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
