that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize