His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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