I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize