We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
