Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize