I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
