i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
