we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
