I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
