Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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