....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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