Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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