i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
