She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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