They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
