I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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