I can tuck mytits in my pants
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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