Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
