all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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