I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I still have a little drunk in my system
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
