I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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