My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
