Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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