Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
