That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
