Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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