I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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