Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
