Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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