omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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