I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
