Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I look better un-naked...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
